oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
