Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
whose parrot is this?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
