Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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