We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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