Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Can I color on your dick again?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
