she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
we made out on top of his cat.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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