you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
