D3 body, D1 cock
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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