the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
