Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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