I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
