I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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