is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Randomize
