i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
