Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
We have started to decorate penises.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
