Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
