exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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