Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
