Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
