does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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