You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
