you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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