'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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