I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
