one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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