she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
