we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Soap is not a condiment
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
