Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
