Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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