Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
