worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
