I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
