I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
