tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
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