The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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