No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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