You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
