You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
