I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
