i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
