He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
