You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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