I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
