is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
