she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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