i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
