There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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