Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
