Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
