We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Randomize
